sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
