I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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