i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
