Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
