It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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