why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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