What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize