i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize