u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
