I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
