dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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