Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just had sex bonerless
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
