He kissed a someone with a penis
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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