I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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