I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
