i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
