Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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