so explain again why im purple
no
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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