I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
