Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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