Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Send help, water and tortillas.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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