your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
