She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
