Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
