Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
