Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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