We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
