The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
nutella sex= disaster
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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