sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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