Me too!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
