thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
