Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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