so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
