2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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