hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
