dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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