it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
