Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
