Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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