in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
