he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
