You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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