This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
