yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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