Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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