He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
