i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
