Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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