Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
