so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
