So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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