hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
