His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
