Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize