I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
