He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
