dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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