At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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