I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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