hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
