Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
