So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize