Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would ride that face into the sunset
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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